The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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