To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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