i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
