doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
