I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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