And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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