Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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