is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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