Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
