he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
