well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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