sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
