Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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