I feel like abortions should bother me more
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
