i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
