I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
