I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
