woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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