I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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