She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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