Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
