Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
