Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
