Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He did a backflip because drugs
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
