shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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