Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
