Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
