Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
