I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
