3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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