i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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