Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
