no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
there's paper in my vomit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Dear god my vagina.
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