: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
what day is it and did you see me today?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
