Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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