The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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