All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
