They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
