Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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