I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
