The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
