So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
