Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
