He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
