was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
