I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
