What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
