Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
