I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
