We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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