Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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