is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
