Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
