So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
