VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
