so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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