You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
